June 27, 2002

wow!

What a day! :) A good one but still pretty long anyway.

First, the kids went to daycare and as I'm going home, a mom from the daycare comes out from the bank and starts talking. I learned that she recently seperated with her partner of 17 years. Wow! That must be so hard. We talked an hour in front of the bank and then my mom joined us. We then started walking a few blocks to stop again and stop to talk, talk, talk for another hour! Good thing it was really nice out today! ;) Finally, it's a face that my mom and won't have time to go to WalMart's this am. So we decide to go for breakfast at the small shopping center close by. The mom joins us for a coffee and we just chatted away once more. I even arrived late to pick up the kids.... 12:02!!!

Get home with the kids, check out the Avon order I just received in the morning, all seems ok. We (mom and I) decide to go to WalMart with the kids after all! :) We LOVE going there 'cause it's so out of the way we never go more than once a month. It's exciting when we get to go! LOL! So lunch for the kids at McD's, they were pleased. Then shopping, I was pleased! LOL! ;)

I found muslin!!! :) Not at 14,99$/meter like the closest fabric store. More like 5,57$/meter for unbleached and aroud 4$/meter for white muslin. I couldn't e more happy! :D So I splurged and bought a whole meter of unbleached muslin! ROFL! ;) Also bought some thread and a new rotary cutter blade. Zoe almost got a bew dress for 4$ but the size 3X was a tad too revealing in our opinion! Oh well, another excuse to get me started on sewing for Zoe! :) Then....

TADADA!!! We went to my FAVORITE thrift store, didn't find anythig. LOL! Then.... we walked home!!! We left that afternoon around 2 pm, took the bus up to the store, had lunch and walk, walk, walk until we got home... 6 hours later!!! Zoe is a true walker, she is REALLY my daughter after all! LOL! She walked at least 3km from the store to our home. It could easily be more but don't know how much. For my mom and I, it takes us an hour to walk home so it's a good distance too walk. People always WOW at us when we tell them we walk from WalMart to home or the opposite. So it's probably even more than 3 kilometers. Guess I'll have to go there with my bike and check the distance in my "distance gadget" on my bicycle! LOL!

We finally get home, exhausted! Lucas starts to nurse and we are just dead tired. A knock on the door! "Go away!" I think to myself. OH! It's Carl! LOL! The kids started jumping all over the place. My mom and I are still not moving! LOL! Well it's 08:30pm, we sure don't feel like cooking so delivery it is! What a day full of restaurants! It's not usually like this! LOL! ;) We ordered from Jimmy's, they have anything you can think of and it's all good. So I got a spagetti, dh lasaga ad my mom hot chicken. we shared with the kids and oh, we had cream soda to drink! 09:15pm, Zoe was out like a light, she never had a nap today and walked so much.

Oh that reminds me! After we finished at WalMart's it was raining, luckily I had brought Lucas his coat but no one else's. So I improvised like any good parent would do! teehee! Took the tie dye blanket out of the diaper bag and tied it over Zoe's arms like a cape. She kept saying she was a magician, a very colorful magician! ;) So the rain didn't affect her too much, Lucas was in the umbrella stroller, he fell asleep on the way and that gave us a break. Close to home we stopped at a park, the slide was wet. So what did we do!? The cape came to the rescue and Zoe sat o it to slide and not get wet! LOL! She slide 3 times and off we walked home. By the time we crossed the last main street she was really tired, I held her in my arms for maybe 30 seconds and we bumped into her godmother and boyfriend. She wanted down the second she saw them and walked all the way home. She was a true trooper and I can't believe how my little Zoe has grown. Weird how a 'simple' walk made me realize that! ;)

hugs, Lucas just woke up!

Posted by Jo at 10:33 PM | Comments (0)

June 25, 2002

update for Tami!

LOL! I know I haven't been good at writting in my journal these past few days. So here I go!

Keyboard still having a mind of it's own, a few letters are not working and I'm tired of pressing ALT and the correct codes to get the letters to show. It's really hard to chat with someone that way. I am getting good at avoiding words with the letters n and b! LOL! ;) I'm still looking at cordless keyboards...

Today I bought a cloth doll pattern, I tried improvising a pattern and I wasn't all that good at it! ;) It'll be better with a pattern. I can't wait to get started! The doll comes in two sizes, so each kid will get one.

This afternoon, my mom and I went grocery shopping with the kids. I bought those chocolate oreos!!! :) I couldn't wait to buy them! LOL! Of course haven't eaten one yet! ;)

As we were crossing the main street to go home, dh shouts from behind "So that's why you weren't answering the phone!" LOL!!!!! I guess he got good tips today 'cause he treated us all to Pizza Hut! Then, he and I went to see the pharmacist about our colds. We got a medicine that I can take even though I nurse. As we were walking to get there we saw a rainbow!!!!! It was beautiful, we could see it starting behind the supermarket and ending in someone's yard. aaaah I just love rainbow, it was just so nice to see! :)

My size 9 shoes are on order from the store. Well, they are calling them in to see if they still have the size in stock at the warehouse. It seems that they usually don't call for a special order, so it might take a few days to get a response but I'm still hoping I'll end up with these shoes! LOL!

A heard a mom today, she's 40yo, say how having one child isn't too bad but having two was like holding a gun to your head. It felt SOOOOOOOOO good to hear someone feel just like me!!! Of course some exceptions are out there, so don't come banging on my head. We got to talk a bit and she was saying how good it feels to work out of the house. Even if it's not really to make money, more just to get out. Eight hours a day where I'd be known by my first name, not mommy, not honey, just my plain old name! She said it was a great way to ressource yourself to be known as a person, to feel like you exist!!! WOW! Wish we could've talked even longer.

Well I was ready for bed an hour ago, now I'm really going! ;)

Goodnight moon, I wonder when is the full moon!?

Posted by Jo at 10:41 PM | Comments (0)

June 22, 2002

argh!

-need new keybrd 'cause I am tired of punching in codes ALT+110 for n, ALT+98 for b and ALT+CTRL+2 for @ We might get a cordless keyboard, I'll have to think about it and fast.

-Carl had the day off today, he bought me a big flower bouquet and we had breakfast at Mikes. I guess he thinks he made up for my birthday but he didn't! Seems that he was looking for the wrong size when he checked for my shoes. As if I'd wear size 11! GEEZ!

-too tired to write anything else, got up at 6am, the day was very long

-one more thing, my new computer chair is soooooooo comfy! :)

Posted by Jo at 10:47 PM | Comments (0)

June 20, 2002

"25"

It's my birthday!!!!! :)

Had a great breakfast with my mom at Cora. Got some lil'money from our neighbours. Picked up the kids from daycare and went to look at the gift my mom wanted to buy me. A computer chair!!!!! I couldn't be more pleased, finally no more rocking chair in from of the computer. So it's still at the store waiting to be picked up. Carl says he'll be off saturday...

Which brings me to say..... Carl is a dick head!!! He was to have the day off, or so he says.... Then he'll only work until 2pm, well it was 08:30pm when I saw him on the street after my meeting.

Aaaah, the meeting! My mom and I went to the daycare's yearly assembly tonight, we ate ceasar salad and pizzas. There was wine, soft drinks, juice, bottled water and..... dessert!!! :D teeheehee. I had a mini cheesecake AND a HUGE chocolate dipped strawberry. This fruit must've been on steroids or something it was BIG and good! :) Oh I didn't drink any wine but it was easy to see which ones did! LOL! They were all feeling hot! LOL! So back to the meeting, Chantal nominated me for one of the three spots that were free on the comittee board. Eight moms were nominated and I got voted to fill in one of the spots! I am so shocked! Feels good to be loved! LOL! :) There was this guy sitting next to me who asked my name as it was time to vote! LOL! My mom voted for me also! ;) Anyway, they said it was a very close call but dang! I still got in the comittee! I'm soooooo excited! LOL! Not sure what I'll be doing on there but hope it'll be fun! :) It can only help the daycare! :) I told Chantal it was my bday today, she was all excited, kissed me on the cheeks. lol! Gotta love her! ;)

Then the meeting was over... Dh tells me he couldn't get them shoes I like so much anywhere. -Sorry! UGH! So!? No card, no anything!? Well.... wanna go eat!? Not really, I just ate! It made me soooooo mad! Like can you show you care or something!? UGH! He ruined my evening in an instant! Then he falls asleep!

Happy Birthday to me..... I did have a GREAT day until Carl came home.


p/s: I feel like the "authentic" mom being on the comittee! ;)


pp/s: 25 is a good age! ;)



Hugs,

Posted by Jo at 10:51 PM | Comments (0)

June 19, 2002

lalala!!!! :)

Well if I had written an hour ago this entry would be UGLY! Now it's an hour later and well it's a little less ugly! LOL!

Valerie came by earlier and asked what I wanted for my birthday, either we go out somewhere or she buys me something I want/need or a nice meal at a restaurant! I went for the last suggestion! :) We went tonight while my mom kept the kids. I had a blast at supper time with Valerie, we laughed soooo much as dessert came, I think they either spiked our coffees or dessert! LOL! We were having such a great time I am not complaining! ;) It was nice to not have any kids or boyfriends around. I even told her how in debt we were and she offered some helpful tips on how to deal with credit cards. It felt good to reconnect with an old friend.

Early in the afternoon when she came by, Zoe was really out of control, not listening and doing everything possible to make us loose our tempers. Then when we were to go for supper Valerie gave me a gift. A book, your child from 3 to 6 years old! LOL! I really need such a book! I am genuinely pleased to have received it! :)

10pm Carl calls, he's still an hour away from Montreal but his day is over, he'll be home as soon as he can. "Oh by the way Honey, I'm working until 2pm tomorrow!" WHAT!?!?!?!?!? He was to have off on my birthday! HELLO?????? He's been working at his new job 8 days in a row now, well he'll have saturday off or so he says! Do I care about saturday!? Not really! I was sooooooo mad!!! Crystal and Hope you can testify to that, right? LOL! ;)

Then he came home with chicken fingers and a poutine! I ate it all and I was still full from supper! GEEZ!

I hope that he really is off toorrow afternoon to be home and check on the kids in the evening! I really want to go at the general assembly for the daycare. He better not make me miss it! Ooooooohhhh! I will turn UGLY if he does!!!

So looks like tomorrow morning I'll either eat brunch alone or with my mom, if she wants to come. In the afternoon I'll bring the kids at the kiddie pool in the park, that will make them happy! Mybe we'll pack a picnic or just buy popsicles after the park. So I can'T buy the shoes Carl is paying for 'cause I don't have the money to buy them! He says he'll have the money tomorrow... We'll see....

OH oh oh!!!! I'm going to IKEA on friday!!!!!!! I can't believe it, over supper Valerie said she needed to go and I was drooling all over my meal saying how I've always dreamed of going there! LOL! Well let's go friday! YEAH! :) Good thing I don't have money or I'd buy too much there I'm sure! I am so excited to go to IKEA! LOL! My mom was shocked when I told her of our plans! She knows how much I've been wanting to go to that store and was really happy for me! It's more than 2 hours away from home by public transportation, so we could never go. How will I ever resist all the cute stuff I'm about to see! :)

hugs, 9 minutes 'til I'm 25!!! lalala! :)

Posted by Jo at 11:51 PM | Comments (0)

June 18, 2002

ARGH life!

I had written all the news for today and then the computer froze! I am so bummed! :(

So condensed version is following.

Tori emailed, she is doing ok!

Sophie-Anne called, she is nine weeks pregnant!!! :)

Hope helped me figure out how to make my doll!

Made a doll, was pretty pleased with it. Lucas said baby (just learned to say baby yesterday!) Zoe wants clothes to dress up the doll.

Carl went straight to bed after talking to Sophie-Anne, guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow night to say hi to him.

Parenting class was fun!

Still mad that computer loss my previous journal entry! :(

Posted by Jo at 11:18 PM | Comments (0)

June 17, 2002

good day

Well Carl finished "early", he called from Tim Hortons and I met up with him without the kids. Gave a nice little break and I got treated to a little treat there. We brought back muffins at home, the kids couldn't be happier! :)

For the last two days I've been checking out a doll and I'm thinking I could make it. We'll see but today I bought some batting so at least I can stuff it! LOL!

Tomorrow is my last parenting class, I'll miss it but september isn't THAT far away! ;)

Dh is still working tomorrow but he says he'll be off for the birthday on thursday. If he isn't I'll still go out for brunch while the kids are at daycare and I'll pay my meal with his debit card! He has been warned too! LOL!

Carl says I can go buy them shoes I've been checking out at Transit. They are 29,99$ down from 49,99$ :-D They are blue and have stars on them and you close them with a zipper. Hopefully they have my size, I really like them! ooooooh it makes me sooooo happy to think I might get a pair! It'll be a nice change than always wearing running shoes. Maybe the shoes will even make me look older! HAHAHAHA!

Should I dye my hair red like the old days!? I've been thinking of it for the past few weeks. They are at a lenght that I don't know what to do with them anymore and color might be fun for a while! I already have the coloring shampoo too. Maybe a hair cut would be nice too!? We'll see...

Going to bed happy! :)

Posted by Jo at 11:07 PM | Comments (0)

June 16, 2002

happy freakin' father's day!

Dh just got home, it's past almost 10pm. He left at 05:30am this morning. He won't be off tomorrow! :-(

He took this job to spend more time with his family.... I'm really getting mad, not even the good word but I really can't process to find the correct word! I'm pissed! THERE! Ugh! I'm bummed, I feel like a single mom more than ever. Good thing Lucas had slept through the night!

So now tomorrow not sure what I'll do. Dh got his gifts made by the kids at daycare. My mom bought him shorts and they look like they don't fit! UGH! Not her fault, I was hoping they'd fit! ;-)

and here I am mad that he's going back to work tomorrow! Like sucks right now!

I'm on the verge of tears over this! UGH! I'm exhausted and he's just working and not appreciating the kids gifts. Good thing I didn't work my butt off all day to make him pants like I was suppose to do! I'm really thinking he wouldn't have been more happy than that.

Aaaaaaaah life sucks! Just as I was doing better, he comes back home and shatters all my hopes. I could just make him sleep outside right now, in the rain no less! (evil grin!)

I'll go sulk in bed with Lucas in between us, hehe! Tomorrow will be better.

I started weaning Lucas, today went pretty well. He likes to drink milk in my arms and I try to distract him if he wants to nurse. I did nurse at least twice right before naps.

Hugs to myself!

Posted by Jo at 09:56 PM | Comments (0)

June 14, 2002

exhausted

Well this day could have not happened and it would be ok. I'm so dang tired, I just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeep. I thought of a father's day gift for Carl, make him lounge/relaxing pants but then I went to the fabric store and no fabric was nice enough for me to buy! Not sure if I'd have time to even make them but oh well.

He's left at 05:30am this morning and he'll be home around 11pm, good thing he left a night job to spend more time with his family... Lucas bite me today, he bite me GOOD! Right as he was nursing and he wouldn't let go! AAAAAAAAAH!!! Weaning comes to min, my mom says I've done my part. I've been nursing and/or pregnant for almost 4 years now. I want my body back, I want a break, I want freedom. I want, I want, I want....

Now I'm off to sleep dh aka dick head jusst got home! UGH! I don't care if you moved a rich guy to his new 17 million dollar house. I don't care that you THINK you know how much pain a bite from Lucas can cause. I don't care about the fact that you told your boss to f*ck off. I'm going to bed and don't bug me! UGH

Posted by Jo at 10:37 PM | Comments (0)

June 13, 2002

zoom

Just passing through!

I was soooo tired today, the kids would get on my nerves at every little thing they'd do.

I made supper!!! :-O That is in itself news! LOL! So I made a meat sauce for pasta, that's my speciality! The other thing I make is chili, same recipe just add kidney beans! LOL!

Carl came home around 10pm so he got to try my sauce in the re-heated version. I was a tad bummed that he didn't make it home early enought for supper. I mean, GEEZ! You can count on both hands the number of time I make supper in a year. Oh well...

I know in the next days his hours will get longer and longer but hey, he likes his job. That makes us all happy! Of course he should've told his old job that he was quitting, the workers have been calling home and it's not my job to tell them he quit.

Tomorrow's friday, kids are back to daycare for the afternoon. I didn't get to sleep today, I was couldn't relax. Lucas had a fever but Francine told me it was ok to leave him, that he would be well. Both kids have started crying when I leave. UGH! I NEED these breaks that the daycare gives me. Of course as soon as I leave their eye sight they stop crying! Like Ginette said, they do it to make mom feel bad. Let me tell you it WORKS!

Hopefully I'll have time to sew! Maybe this weekend we'll go buy some fabric at the flea market! 2$/meter is a GREAT price! I could work on my jeans quilt. Well see, well see. Dh is probably going to work so someone shall take care of the kids! He's met a new worker today, this new guy is a bouncer for the Loft bar and Pointe-Calumet Beach Club. Apparently he's HUGE! lol! He works out (his father owns a gym), so dh is sure to want to start doing that soon too! Ah well, I'd love to get out and exercise myself! LOL! All this ice cream I've been eating is starting to show, jeans fit tighter! LOL! ;-)

Night moon!

Posted by Jo at 10:47 PM | Comments (0)

June 12, 2002

yay!

Tomorrow morning the kids go to daycare!!!! :-) 3 full hours to myself! :-) What to do, what to do? I don't care, I'll have 3 free hours! aaaaaaaah, it feels sooooo good thinking about this! :) Well hopefully Lucas will cooperate and want to go...

Well being that Carl now works days, humm... ok he started today! LOL! He's be active in the night time routine. He was trying to read a story last night in very low lighting. I suggested that he make up a story or that he talks about his youth to Zoe. Well Pierrot the clown is what he's been talking about for the last two nights! LOL!

It's weird, it'll be five years soon that I've know Carl and I never knew about Pierrot. ;-) It seems that he'd bring his clown all over the place. In the sand box (grandma would not appreciate, he said!), he'd sleep next to him, eat next to him at meals. Sit right next to the tub, go play in the garden with him. It made Carl soooooo human!? Yes, I know, it does sound odd. It's soooo cute hering him talk about it though, I think he misses Pierrot! ;-) I bet he hasn't thought about the clown in ages and since he never talks about his family maybe it brought up other memories!? I sure wish that some day we could meet his parents and show off our kids but I know it won't happen. Luckily we are close, VERY close to my mom. So even though the kids only have a grandma as extended family it's a very closely knit family. My mom got to see the kids first steps, words and just that makes it very special to her. Not make grandmothers get to see all those first accomplishments.

Dh likes his job and he's going back tomorrow! GOOD! ;-) There are two holidays coming up and he'll work on those days. Seems that they were told the pay would be triple on those holidays. Well work baby, work!!! We'll take all the money he can bring in. I'm really happy that he likes the job though but then again he sees people all day. So, how could he not like it? ;-)

hugs, Tami be safe on your trip and hug Mickey for me! Now would you REALLY hug Mickey? ;-) Yes, your nephews would think that is pretty lame, SO? LOL!

Posted by Jo at 10:36 PM | Comments (0)

June 11, 2002

just a quick note

Lucas has a throat infection so he's on some antibiotics for 10 days. It might make him sleepy, GOOD! ;-) He's sleeping in his bed right now too! Woohoo!

My parenting class was very eye opening today, we had to answer a few questions and it really got me to understand how my oldest feels towards her little brother. I've been learning so much in the 2 classes I've taken from Carole this spring. I will be the first one in line in fall to take her next set of classes. I sure feel more in control as a parent from what I've learned and she gives a few classes on living life as a couple. I think we need that! LOL!

At 2pm, Carl had an interview. 02:10pm, he had the job! :-) He's now a moving company's helper. He helps people to move from one place to the other. I have to give it to him though, he'll always find a job. He's good at that, finding jobs, now he needs to learn to keep them! He needs to be at the warehouse at 06:45am so I better go tuck him in 'cause he's still up watching a movie.

Today, Carl and I, we've had a good day, it's been a long time since I've said that.

Oh the sewing machine repair guy came over and looked at the machine Carl found. He said there's no use, it's not worth paying to get it fixed. He suggested that 200$ might make it work but who knows for how long. I was bummed and Carl was even worst but I guess it was simply not meant to be. He really wanted to get it fixed for my birthday. He's so sweet.....

On another subject, I found my ex's phone number.... Today as we got a ride to dh's interview we passed my ex's home. It was weird to have those two things happen one after the other...

Goodnight my love, à ce soir dans mes rêves...

{english version}

Goodnight my love, until tonight in my dreams...

The mystery is over for you non-french readers! LOL!

Posted by Jo at 10:34 PM | Comments (0)

Lazy diary

This is a VERY lazy way to type up my entry today!

Hope, you might have read this already! ;-)

I am EXHAUSTED!!! Lucas has started to scream so bad when we put him in his crib that he pukes! He did that on me 2 nights in a row. Last night I just went and got him after dh was TRYING to HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! We had a friend of my mom's over and here we are all listening Lucas screaming! Dh was there not phased at all! GEEZ! Where's your brain?

So Lucas slept with us, usually dh is working at night so it's only Lucas and I in bed! Lucas takes enough space to make our queen sized bed look small. Well...... dh left his job! He told his boss to call him back when he could offer him a day shift! Humm.... they called at 10pm last night to know if he was coming in to start his night shift on time. My mom and dh were avoiding the phone and I had answered! When I hung up both wanted to know what the guy had said! Hummm... we have company, can we deal with this later!? Well..... NO! They sure lost there faces when I told them what I just heard on the phone. Poor Louise, she sure felt bad to be sitting right in the middle of this!

This morning is my parenting class, sibling rivalry! I am dead tired and I know that when I'll go in the class someone will POLITELY tell me I look terrible/tired! Yeah I KNOW! Now stop telling me 'cause it sure makes me feel even worst. UGH! The teacher is good though, he other moms is where the problem is! LOL!

Dh is still sleeping, he is supposed to bring Lucas to the clinic for his cough! I guess he's tired........ hummm...... GET UP! He just needs to get to the health clinic and then he can bring Lucas to the daycare. Dh will have his own break from everyone! I don't even get that. I get a reak from the kids but I'm still taking my class.

Dh has two job interviews that look promising! One is picking up trash with the garbage truck and the other is working for a Sears-like department store to deliver large appliances to customers. He's the "arms" not the driver in these jobs! LOL! Did you know picking up trash starts at 12$/hour! He never got that so it might be good!

Thanks goodness I have my mom! She knew this was coming, last week she suggested that I save 100$ from dh's paycheck! I saved up more! We will have food this week! I am so happy my mom had suggested it though!!!

This shall be a looooong day! Why is life not enouraging me to smile?

Posted by Jo at 08:29 AM | Comments (0)

June 10, 2002

one step at a time

Well I have a new lurker, let's meet Daniel/Johnny! LOL!!!! He is my 'brother' WOW! Haven't said that in a looooong time. We used to be the Johnny/Angel duo. Angel was the person I used to be, before kids in my "other" life. I have great memories of being Angel. Of course greater memories of my brother too! ;-)

So today was another day back in the past. I downloaded Summer nights on the computer and kept listening and singing to it all afternoon. I know that Mister X and I are just not meant to be. I mean, him having kids!? Oh my God! He'd die! LOL! I guess having a miscarriage when I was with him was a sign...

I hoped on the bicycle and went out for ice cream! LOL! It kind of defeats the purpose of exercising but Dairy Queen simply has the greatest ice cream. It's hard to resist and well I don't feel like resisting! So I gain a bit of weight? Everyone keeps telling me I've lost weight! LOL! My trick!? Where baggy clothes, they'll be fooled! ;-)

I might take a sewing class in the next few weeks. It would get me out of the house and I'd learn something pretty useful at the same time. I really like sewing but time just isn't on my side at home and the kids just NEED me as soon as I open the machine. It would be a condensed 3 week class, 2 times a week. Money is the main issue here, I would have to pay for the class and then add to that the cost of patterns, fabric and what not! I do want to learn to sew though. We'll see.

There is my birthday coming up! Haven't I said that for the past few days now? LOL! I already told Carl that I wanted to go eat out for brunch on my bday. If he doesn't treat me out, I'll just go alone! Yeah right! My mom would surely tag along! ;-) The kids are already going at the daycare on that day so I know I'll have peace to eat and a break to start my day.

My parenting classes will finish in two weeks, they start again in the fall. The kids will still go to daycare 3 times a week. Twice in the morning and on friday afternoon, sort of a break before the weekend. It'll be nice to have 3 hours to myself every 2 days or so. I think I'll enjoy to "ME" time that I'll get.

Carl scared the heck out of me tonight!!! He was off to work at 9pm and I hear someone in the stairs around midnight. Hello!? Thank goodness a voice I know answered back. It sure scared me, I never heard him unlock the door. Poor him, (well not really) but he came in just as I was listening to a movie. He wanted to talk and I just wanted to watch my movie! LOL! I haven't watched a movie from The Movie Network in so long, I wonder why we bother to pay extra for that!? Anyway, I watched The Family Man with Nicholas Cage. It was hummm, shall I say special!? The movie mag resumes this movie as: A man gets a glimpse of the life that could have been his. It was eery to watch this as I wonder how my life would be if I changed a decision or two about my life. In the movie the man had it all, ladies, money. Then he wakes up to a so-so job and a wife and two kids life. It sure hit home to see this, the story ends that he likes the family life after all. I guess I do too!? I just don't get to glimpse at the life I would've had though!? Wonder where I'd be and with whom? ;-)

hugs,

p/s: Carl told his boss to call him back only if he could offer him a day job! OYE! Good thing I saved up some money in case this was going to happen! I am so proud of myself to have saved up a few dollars without him knowing! Had he known about this, the money would have been spent on whatever this weekend. I am good! LOL!!!!!

Posted by Jo at 12:26 AM | Comments (0)

June 09, 2002

still blue

Well the day wasn't worth being written about but here I go anyway. I've been wanting a break of everything and I will not get it!

Lucas cried and cried right before supper so I took him in my arms for a walk outside. Is it true that that if bird poop hits you, you'll have luck in your life? UGH UGH UGH! Could this day be any worse!?

I better get some lucky days ahead because I am simple FED UP! I felt like going out tonight, where!? Who cares! but I knew it wasn't possible. As I type these words Lucas is crying for the 3rd time since we've put him down for sleep 2 hours ago. That child can't live without me and I NEED a break.

Mister X, please come into my dreams tonight? I desperately need to smile. I want to be happy and how I am living my life right now just isn't going to make it happen.

Carl thinks I get mad at him just because I am tired. How can I get the message accross!?

~Sweet dreams~

Posted by Jo at 12:28 AM | Comments (0)

June 08, 2002

obsession

Obsession by Webster

Main Entry: ob·ses·sion

1 : a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling;

Well, you came into my dreams last night. This was not the 1st time, I missed you. Each time we go out, I wonder, will we see you today!? I live in the past, five years ago is where I'd still want to be. Where each time I went to the club everyone knew my name. When going out happened every night. Freedom and fun was my main goal. Having breakfast at 4am, hanging out with bar owners and getting a free drink. LOL!!!!! When money was not a problem. When I could sleep all night/day without anyone waking me up. ARGH!

I wish I was back in the past with you. I miss you, your smile, your family. ;-) The feelings I felt when I was with you, the comfort your room brought to me. The smiles you gave me, the memories we made.

I wish I had gone to school, wish I had given myself more of a chance for the future.

You're the one that I want, the one I need... J'esperais tellement plus de ma vie. Pas plaisant la vie de mère au foyer.

Well it's saturday, my reason to live today is checking out garage sales. Two doors down, there's one, last year we got Lucas enough clothes for him to wear 2 seasons.

I will soon be 25 years old! WOW! I feel like I want to be 20yo though. I don't like this "adult" life and want to go back in time. Why is life so pleasing to some and awfully boring to others!? I told Carl to move out... He hasn't. He gets on my nerves, he will go to work sunday night. No day shift for him in the near future. I am fed up of the night shift! I want out!

p/s: Goodbye my love, à ce soir dans mes rêves...

pp/s: if I emailed you, would you reply!?

Posted by Jo at 08:19 AM | Comments (0)

June 06, 2002

another day gone by

Well today, nothing major happened. I'm just here to write up that! LOL! ;-)

We played with marzipan at my crafting class and tomorrow morning we will be decorating a cake. Being that there are two major events going on right now, my cake will either be inspired by the soccer world cup or the fomula one race. Dh will probably like that!

This afternoon I paid all of our bills over the internet, now talk about convenient! No need to go to the bank and wait my turn to pay boring bills, now if the printer could just print money I'd be really happy! LOL! The kids went to play outside while I was doing all that and when they came back in both took a nap. At the SAME time, talk about a great relaxing hour. We celebrated by going to a Lebanese/Algerian/Moroccan (who knows!?) restaurant. It's good and that's all that really count! Had to go buy a cake to bring to my last crafting class until fall! :-( I got an angel cake, never get tired of those. I can't wait to see everyone's cration in the morning. We are lucky, being that my mom takes the class two, we'll end up with two cakes! Yum, yum! ;-)

I saw a neighbour of ours tonight and we got to talk quite a bit, it was really fun as they just moved in, even though I knew them from before. They have a daughter a year older than Zoe, so hopefully they will get to play a few times this summer. The mom is studying at university level, I secretly admire her so much. Being a student mom must be really hard, studying while a kid is sick or when life just happens to be hectic and then finals come. UGH! Can I say jealous!? I'll be 25years old in a few weeks. What have I done with my life!? Yeah, yeah 2 kids but what else!? Oh well, people keep telling me I'm young and should enjoy life. It's hard when your a nursing mom of 2 and the baby still gets up at night! LOL! Hopefully my birthday will be nice and sunny. :)

Night moon.

Posted by Jo at 10:52 PM | Comments (0)

June 05, 2002

rain....

Rain...

Feel it on my finger tips

Hear it on my window pane

Your love's coming down like

Rain ~Madonna~

Today was gray out, rainy and cloudy all day. Nothing exciting happened, the kids did get on my nerves most of the day. Dh spent the afternoon up with us and went back to sleep after supper.

Tonight, my mom left with the kids a good hour and it helped me cool down. By the time she came back it was bed time for them.

Tomorrow is my cake decorating class, we will be playing with marzipan.

Right now, I'm watching a Hallmark movie, yes I'm a sucker for sappy movies! I love them, they are the best when I need a good cry. It's Cupid & Cate, just when Cate finds the man of her dreams and gets engaged she learns he has leukemia. She discovers she is pregnant as he starts his 1st round of chemo. A baby boy arrives in their lives and the dad goes back to the hospital. The movie is almost finish and the tears will probably start soon.

I'm tired, I know Carl and i as far from perfect. It's soooooo far from perfect, I don't know what to do anymore about it. Every time I confront him about it, he nods and life is still the same. I can't live through another night of him working the night shift while I need help with Lucas up all night. I can't live through another day of him sleeping while I still need help with the kids. I want to sleep so badly. I think of past relationships I had, one particularly, how is he doing!? I wonder.... I know there is a reason we aren't together anymore but I still wonder. There's no wedding this year, I was hoping it would happen but it ain't! I wanted Lucas to be blessed on the same day but that won't be happening either. October 5th marks our 5th anniversary, will we last that long to even celebrate it together!? I wonder...

Back to my movie, eyes are tearing up.

Posted by Jo at 10:27 PM | Comments (0)

June 04, 2002

tired mama

Loooong day, got up early for class and going to bed late 'cause of the baby.

My class was great, very uplifting and it's really fun to be around others who are living the same things we are.

This afternoon, Isabelle came by as a surprise visit. I was indeed VERY surprised, she's moving soon to a dream house and will open her own daycare in the fall. This woman was my best buddy in our crafting class. I will miss her and her great talents to make verything she touches look pretty.

I've been doing the budget for the past two weeks and it's been GREAT not having any credit card company call. Guess I'm doing something good! ;) I can even pay bils over the net, ain't that a great thing!? Don't even need to get out of my chair! LOL! With all of Carl's overtime it'll help make bigger payments. I know we will get out of debt, I can finally breeathe and know that things are getting better. If only dh and I could get along better, everything would be perfect. He needs sleep, I need sleep, Lucas is back our room at night. He sleeps in his crib for 1-2 hours and by the time I go to bed he wakes up. UGH! For the time being, Carl still working at night, Lucas can come in bed with me but this won't last. I need a break and a full night's sleep.

Friday dh and I might go out! That should be fun. :) The whole city is bubbling with excitement. The FIFA World cup is going on right now, I haven't even seen a soccer match yet. Hopefully I'll have time before it ends. Why do I start getting interested in sports when the season is over!? Like football is fun once the Superbowl comes and hockey is exciting around the playoffs for the Stanley cup. LOL!

I am NEVER going back to that temp. mama board. Got that my friend!? Don't even think about letting me know what else is going on there! ;)

hugs,

Posted by Jo at 11:39 PM | Comments (0)

June 03, 2002

monday, monday

Life is special in it's quirky little own way. Today I received a postcard from Tori! LOL! I just wrote about her yesterday! Felt good knowing that she's ok! Last wednesday she was in Cassis near Marseille. They have been eating well and getting tons of shiny rays at 25C/75F outside.

Today was a hectic day, had to go downtown to buy a CD for an online pal. Came back home to find the door unlocked! :-O No kids or grandma in site, seems she forgot to lock the door! OMG!!!!!! I had Carl look every where in the house to make sure we were really safe. Nothing is missing so it looks like no one came in either. It's been a weird event to live through though.

Here's another quiky event. Just as dh and I leave home for a walk, I start having pain on my ankle. It lasted our 3hour walk and when I got home it started to feel a tad better. Seems that I tied my shoe too tight! LOL! You'd think that at almost 25yo I'd know how to tie my shoes? ;-)

Well this week starts off good and bad. Hopefully it'll go better! LOL! Dh came home around 9am instead of 07:30am. We couldn't go to the clinic with the kids, we'll go wednesday IF he doesn't have a double shift at work. I think Zoe might have another bronchitis. :( She's been coughing alot and it's been more than a week, even with taken cough syrup! UGH! Lucas coughs less but he's so little, it's as if mucus gets stuff in his throat.

Tuesday is the day of my "parenting" class, my mom comes too so either dh takes cares of the kids, a) IF he gets home before 9am b) IF he's not sleeping on the couch by the time we leave c) IF he feels like it! UGH! or else Zoe will go to daycare and 'share' her cough with the other kids! :( I could stay home and miss out on the Sibling Rivalry class that I desperatly need!? The teacher is GOOD, she always has tips on how to become better people for ourselves and others. It's given me a new light on life. After being down for a few weeks, I've noticed some change in myself and so did my mom! She's pretty proud of me! Feels good! :)

Off to sleep! Tomorrow I will NOT go check that other temporary mama board! ;)

Posted by Jo at 11:01 PM | Comments (0)

June 02, 2002

Tori, Tori!

Well it has been more than a week that you are in Europe. I wonder, are you eating well!? Where are you and your friend sleeping!? Are you safe? Tori, Tori how you are missed by me! ;) Are you still in Paris!? Where, oh where are you at right now? Still 2 months until you come back. I hope you enjoy the backpack trip you planned for so long. I wish you and Ugo are having fun. I wish I could be there..... or do I? LOL!

I'm too chicken! LOL! I could not just pack up and go visit somewhere so far where I don't know anything or anyone. I'd need a hotel to sleep in and some nice meals to survive! I bet you are having much more fun that I would though! ;)

Oooooh Tami!!!! You are one of the few who knows this little space exists! Just had to say "HI!!!" ­

Last night Carl went for a bike ride, a long one. humm... why isn't he home by now!?!? I go to bed and he finally arrives. He just found a sewing machine outside, free no strings attached! :O Here's one that looks just like it!

new machine


The machine was built in 1992 so it's 10years old but FREE!!!! LOL! We will have it checked out and maybe I'll get to embroider a few clothes for the kids.

Today we ate out for brunch, it's sort of routine to do so on sunday mornings. Carl works nights and it makes us enjoy our last day of the weekend with him when we eat out. We just played outside must of the day and bought a TV set/furniture thing from our neighbours. Good price and we need such a 'thing' now if Lucas could just stop playing with the glass doors on it! LOL! We might use it to store my sewing "junk" after all! aka patterns, fabrics! ;-)

I've added a few HTML links on this page, I'll have to check if they work!

Tomorrow is a busy, busy day, in fact the week is already all planned out! Guess I better jump in bed and fast! ;-)

Night Tami, night Tori!

Posted by Jo at 10:26 PM | Comments (0)

June 01, 2002

headache

Dang headache! Leave me alone, I've been enduring it for the past 3hours. Took two tylenols and still hurtin'

Today went to a garage sale, found 3 Disney story books for the kids. Carl found 2 games for his N64. We bought that N64 3 years ago to keep us entertained as new parents! LOL! Knowing that the baby would keep us up at odd hours we thought why not splurge and buy it since we wouldn't be going out anytime soon anyway! ;) It's been in the basement these past few months but dh was soooo happy to hook it back on the TV tonight! Guess I'll have to practice his new games while he's at work to beat the heck out of him! teehee! :-P

Went to Dairy Queen today, I LOVE going there, went by bicycle. The purpose of going by bike is that I'm burning calories to get there, then eat a great dessert and burn calories to get back home. LOL! Zoe seated on daddy's bike and truely enjoyed her dessert! We've done this twice with her, next time it might be Lucas turn to come eat a snack! ;)

Goodnight moon!

Posted by Jo at 10:50 PM | Comments (0)