I'm alive! LOL! So yes, I haven't been keeping up with my journal these past few days. Why? 'cause all is well! Don't I mostly post to vent about life after all? ;)
This weekend I sewed up a pair of pj pants!!!! I am soooooo pround of myself and they are sooo comfy too! :D
Last night Carl and I went to the movies with our 3 year old. Zoe LOVED it, this was her 2nd time to the movies but my 1st with her. We saw SpyKids2, she loves Carmen and Juni, we have the 1st movie tapped and she watches VERY often. She was sooooo eager to see this new sequel with her "friends" in it. Then to make the evening even more eventful we went and rented a movie! LOL!!!!!
I read from a mommy board that John Q was a great movie to rent! It was pretty good, dh was even teary eyed at one time! I've only seen dh cry oncee in 5 years, so teary eyes is a BIG thing! ;) The movie does have some bloody scenes in it but it's all medical scenes.
So I'm doing good, don't have much to say today. Maybe that it's hooooooot here aka 34 degrees celcius, I forget how to convert that for our American friends but it's simply HOT!!! We are under smog right now, have been for a few days too. They say people should not do hard work outside because smog is really bad for lungs. Well, Carl works as a mover, so he spends alot of time outside each day.
As soon as he goes to Ottawa again he might be able to get me some KwikSew pattern books! Woohoo! They don't sell them in Quebec so it would be nice! :) I heard these are the greatest for sewing newbies such as ME! lol!
hugs,
What have I been up to in the past few days!? Well... Carl had a few days off! :-D
Sunday, he went to Ottawa with the moving truck and he accumulated so many hours that he got the next 2 days off! Monday, we went out for lunch with the kids and bought many veggies and fruits at a great cheap produce store. It's an hour by walk away so we don't go there too often! We should 'cause the prices are always way cheap and the produce are at there freshest there. Tuesday, the kids went to daycare for the afternoon so dh and I went shopping for ME!!!!! :-D
I haven't bought clothes for myself in the longest time ever! OH! Saturday as we went grocery shopping, dh made me go to the hairdresser, I've been wanting to cut my hair! So it was a total surprise when instead of leaving the supermarket he steared me to the hairsalon (it's in the supermarket). Connie, Zoe's old hairdresser, had her twins 2,5 months ago. I was shocked since I never knew if she had given birth or not. Anyway this super nice lady cut my hair wayyy short but still feminine. Back to tuesday, went to Village Value, a 2nd hand store (I can't believe prices for new clothes and always shop at thrift stores instead, I LOVE finding great clothes at unbeatable prices!) ;-) As usual I follow Carl into the mens section, I always start by trying to find him some clothes, then he's more willing to wait as I look for myself! LOL! I found him 2 Tommy Hilfiger sweaters at great loooowww prices! He was on cloud nine! :-) Then he went right to the womens jeans section and started looking for me. He even knows my size! LOL! I tried and tried jeans and lil'tops and came back home with at least 5 pairs of jeans and 3 tops. I was beaming with happiness!!! :-) We usually don't find much for myself! AND I look like a girl in my new clothes for once! LOL!!!! Guess Tori has influenced me in getting a new look for myself too! ;)
Then we ran to catch the bus, left the clothes at home and went to get the kids at 4pm. Get back home, my mom had a friend (Loulou) come over for the day. 06:30pm Both kids were napping, Carl was making supper, Loulou, my mom and I were in the basement. WAAAAAAAAH!!!!! Something is leaking!!!!!!!!! The plumbing under the kitchen sink broke! :-( Quick, riding our bicycles dh and I go to the renovation store that is still open at this hour. We get home, supper will wait, Carl starts "building" the new plumbing and Sophie-Anne calls. he awaiting her 1st baby in January, we chat for way too long as we do each time she calls from Quebec City! ;-)
9:15pm, plumbing is done! Hooray Carl!!! Let's all go eat at Harvey's! LOL! Come back home, then I go with my mom and Loulou to the subway station. Come back home and settle down for the evening, woh! the day is over already. it's 11pm! Kids quickly fall asleep.
Today is a new day, Carl has helped me ALOT while he was home! He knows I need a break from the kids. He tries to do his best but in two months he barely slept more than 5 hours a night! I just ask too much from an exhausted father! Anyway he slept 3 nights in a row 10 hours and so did Zoe, so I guess both really needed the rest!
I'm still looking into going back to school or taking a correspondance course in the fall. We'll see! I feel the need of doing something, not just being a mom anymore! I need to get out, see people maybe as a bonus, make new friends! Jo just needs to be Jo again! (that would be me aka Jo!) LOL! It's fun being a mom, some days more than others! But I need to feel like I can be more than just a mom right now! I need a purpose to get up in the morning, more than just Lucas banging on my head! LOL!
hugs,
Jo :o)
Yesterday after being around Carl for 10minutes I noticed a bandage over his eyebrow. Guess I wasn't looking at him much, hun!?
A bungy cord broke and the metal end went flying next to his eye. Oh my goodness!!!! Not even an inch away from his eye!!!
So he went to the emergency clinic, waited 90minutes and got 5 stitches that need to be taken out in 10 days.
Why didn't he call home to tell us he was at the clinic!? It's as if nothing happened. GEEZ!
Anyway, he kept his paycheck this week... So I don't even know how much he made... He left us 80$ for food, the budget is 60$/week 'cause we still have frozen meat left over from his past job. Still, I feel sick. I can't believe that he's willing to start paying his bills... I, on the other hand, made a mistake. I paid the Visa bill twice this month, on the up side the total is now under the credit card limit for the 1st time in a year. Down side, I could've kept this money for us to make sure the kids will be ok when he leaves... I can't believe I helped him out! :-(
I feel that if he takes this 2 weeks "vacation" that I'm not sure I'll be willing to have him back in the house. I never thought it would be so far... Man, this is awful, I feel sick to my stomach.
I don't know how I'll provide for my family!? Should I get a job at WalMart's? LOL!!!! Maybe I could get a rebate on fabric? teehee! ;-) As if I had time to sew anyway...
Someone called this morning and woke us all up. He asked for Carl but hung up before I knew who it was... I wonder WHO was it?
This afternoon kids go to daycare AGAIN! lol! Last time until tuesday afternoon, we were lucky to have them go 4 half-days this week. They usually can only go 3 half-days. It's helped me alot not having Lucas clinging on me for a few hours each day. Especially at this time.
So I'm thinking I should make Zoe something special! :-D Either a ballerina print nightgown or finish that cloth doll I started. She needs to realize that she is special to me and forget a tad about daddy...
Maybe if this afternoon after daycare she is doing good, I'll treat her to a supper at the restaurant! Ok, so I shouldn't spend our lil'money like this but I know it would really make her happy!
We'll see, we'll see...
Well my day was pretty nice. Had a great time with the visit I had. {hi Tori!} ;-) Her trip in Europe sounded so much fun. She had so many pictures from it, which sure is nice when you travelled for 2 months like she did. Great opportunity she had to go pack up and travel! :)
Back to Earth, Carl says it's a good idea to take two weeks off! He will ask one of his work buddies if he can crash at his place for at least a week. Carl says there is no problem, he will pay to help with the kids. I thought that was very considerate of him. I really don't want to turn this uglier than it should be.
Zoe has been having these crying spells. Just out of the blue she starts crying! ;-( I asked her if she missed daddy and she said yes. Zoe needs mommy-Zoe time!!! I shall find the energy to give it to her. She is getting so big and I really want to build up a close relationship with her. Just like I have with my mom. It's hard to see her cry because Carl is never home or that he never takes time to play with her. She desperately wants to go back to the BIG pool! She just potty trained for that exact reason 2 months ago. I need to go find me a bathing suit and make her happy! In september I think she'd be ready for swimming lessons! :-) I was thinking hockey but that can wait until next year. I thought maybe gymnastics would be something she'd like too but swimming might just be cheaper! Since I don't know what the future holds for us, I better go with cheaper.
Zoe had two pee accidents in the past 2 days, each time at naps. I wonder why!? Maybe because she is feeling so bad about missing daddy!? She rarely wets her night time diapers but now wets at nap time!? I don't know what to think of it.
Tomorrow Carl won't have the day off.... BIG surprise as usual... He says it'll be saturday that he'll be staying home. {Don't worry Tori, if he really has the day off, he can keep the kids!} :-P
Oh how I wish I had a magic wand some days. What would a better life look like though!? I dream of having enough money to stay at home but still be able to pay my bills! Not Carl's but my own bills. Do I even get bills? LOL!
hugs,
I had a flash from the past!!!! It's eery 'cause I haven't thought of this person for maybe FIVE years? lol!
Patrick, ok so most of you think who? LOL! No I never went out with this guy, he was married! :-P I used to go out wednesday nights at a male nudy bar and loved it. hehehehehe! :D Well Patrick was the boss there and I guess he liked me... I'd get rounds payed and well at the end of the night let's just say that walking a straight line was out of question! LOL! Never would I accept someone to pay me a drink, I'm just that kind of person. I'd have money and be InDePeNdAnT!!! I didn't need a man to buy me drinks. I was so on top of the world back then! LOL! I can't believe I thought of him. It's just so weird! I remember back then he had a son, about a year old named Victor. He must be 6yo now, I wonder if Pat ever had more kids!? I remember how special he made me feel when i saw him. He had money and didn't have to worry abbout it. He liked paying rounds of drinks to people, he was very charismatic!(spelling!?) WOW! I'm amazed that all of this is back in my mind. Why!? Why now? LOL! It's so spooky!
I just downloaded a song too, Unbreak my heart from Toni Braxton. That was a popular song back then 5 years ago. It was a popular song at the Stock (the bar's name). I remember singing it at the top of my lungs, thinking how lonely I was but in a way happy too! LOL! You know how sometimes you sing out loud and feel every word just being as if they were meant for you!?
Anyway, I can still see the chair I was sitting in, comfy chairs! ;-) The sticky table from spilled bears 'cause you just know I'd spill a bottle at least once a night! Usually not mine either! LOL! The ashtray filling up as the evening was heating up. Boy was it ever HoT in that club! ;-) WOW! I haven't smoked a single cigarette since 2 years!? and even then it was only one, almost chocked too! LOL! Why all of a sudden these memories are coming back?
I sure remember how happy I was back then, so freeeeeeeee. I'd get up at 2pm party until 4am! LOL! Guess I was just never a morning person, hun? lol! I'm feeling so funny right now, almost giddy/guiddie/whatever! Why these memories now?
Well now I have this funny grin on my face lol! Gonna see Tori this afternoon, she'll crack up when I tell her about this. She came to this club maybe once!? lol! Boy those were the days, me in black leather pants, short tight top and just happy as can be! Also I had a black hat, I liked that hat so much, gave me an attitude! LOL! Everyone w2ould try on my hat, it was one of those flat top hats, don't know the name! ;-) Then on sundays I'd go to the Boy club which was open to woman only on sundays.
Now there was this guy named Kim back then... Now THAT was someone, I'd never thought I'd forget about... Never had anything happen, not that I didn't DREAM about it! Gosh! I stopped going to the club after becoming way too infatuated with him. Never paid to have him dance! LOL! Not my style AT ALL! "Kim le gars aux poumons verts!" teehee!
What memories these were! I'm just so stomped how come such memories come back now!? What I'd give to be back in those days for just 1 night, well maybe 2! ;-)
hugs,
Nothing much, day was nice and sunny maybe to sunny in fact! It's like we are having a whole new heat wave. It's HOT!!!
Zoe went to the kiddy pool at the park for the last two days. It's an outing they like to do at the daycare. I'm happy she gets to go 'cause we don't bring her there. It's easier to just fill up the lil'pool we have in the backyard than to pack up the kids for the park.
Carl came home at 08:30pm, he did call before coming home but I was out with Zoe. We got some Timbits from Tim Hortons! :-) He blablabla'd about his job and went to sleep after Big Brother. So we never got to talk about anything. UGH! I hate that all day I'll think up of something to say to him and then, of course, we never get to talk.
My mom thinks Zoe is starting to be affected by the non-presence of daddy home. What will it be if he starts sleeping elsewhere! :-( I need to start doing stuff with her, she needs attention in a big way. Lucas is just sooo clingy, I can't do anything without him being in my arms! ARGH! How do I please two kids at the same time?
Oh the lucky kids got to share a jumbo Mr Freeze popsicle after daycare. Sandra, one of the girl that works there gave each of the kids 1/2 of the popsicle. They were in HEAVEN! I did still a bit or 2 or ... from Lucas! ;-) Then both of them slept for at least an hour when we got home. It was nice to have the 2 taking a nap.
Tomorrow tori is coming over with her boatload of pictures from Europe. I can't wait to hear how her two months of travelling went! :-) I can't believe she started wearing clothes with color!!! Of course I wouldn't be surprised to see her dressed in black with combat boots tomorrow! teehee! Love ya Tori! ;-)
That's it for now, I'll most likely buy the Doctor Phil's book tomorrow, called Relationship Rescue or something!? Can't remember since I'll buy it in french! LOL! He talks about how in a relationship before accusing the other one of everything look inside yourself... That shall get interesting! ;-)
hugs and thank you for your support!!! :) You may not say much but it's always a pleasure knowing that someone is reading and sending me a hug.
G'night! :o)