December 19, 2003
religion
Felt one, knit too! Saw this book yesterday and it is really an interesting book. Many patterns were tempting to make also. LOL! You just have to see the felted over mitt they have, it's just the cutest. I might get the book and the knitting for children from melanie falick, to complete my deal with crafter's choice. Luckily I still have six months before needing to buy 2 books. I can wait and save for a while before ordering. ;)
A last happy note, today is Zoe's christmas party at the skating lessons, apparently Santa can skate! 
That should be fun for the kids, we're giving her teacher a certificate to go the the movies and it comes with snacks for her to enjoy. Hope she likes it, didn't make her a felted bag after all.
Wish I had the energy to write more but right now I feel dead inside. :( By the way, I've been reading everyone's blog on my blogroll but just can't find the motivation to comment on them. Just don't think I am not reading 'cause I am!!!
---I might delete this part later on, so read it quickly- ;)
I have never been one to be deep in religion though when life turns into getting uglier by the day, I like to think higher powers will try to help. Right now it is really hard to see that our lives will be brighter. So anyway, a friend suggested I read the daily bread and yesterday's entry was *(God) comforts us in all our tribulations, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble. —2 Corinthians 1:4* You have no idea how much it touched home to me.
2 days ago i wanted to share the news that we might get married in the new year. today i think we are on the verge of breaking up, possibly before the happiest day of the year (Christmas). Either that or I will need to be admitted for a big depression. I have so much bottled up inside that I feel like I am a volcano, I just hope no one is around me when I erupt because it could get very hurtful to the ones I love the most. I hurt so much inside it's almost unbereable. I am lost, I don't know what to do anymore concerning the men whom I loved for the past 6 years. So I started looking into religion because right now, I need something to make me believe that we.... wait, *I* can be happy about life again. Don't worry, I won't turn this blog into a religious one. ;)
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If you feel like it, I wouldn't mind if a few would have good thoughts for our family. This is a really hard time for us and right now, I do not see the sun at the end of this ordeal.
Posted by Jo at December 19, 2003 08:36 AM
It seems that Christmas time can be very stressful for relationships, no matter what state they are in. Not sure why, many relationships actually break up just around this time of the year. Maybe everybody has the feeling that its all too much and people want too much of them, people would like to escape. The closeness of families for big get togethers doesn't really make all that go away or better, rather, one feels more depressed and locked in a corner.
Try to relax some and do things that you like doing, enjoy your kids and save the worrying for next year ;)
Just remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes you just need to hang on until the "train" gets to it. Try to turn those internal thoughts outward to others. You charity knitting is a good start. Maybe it's time to take a hat out to someone who needs it. Visit a homeless shelter and see how blessed you really are.
Take care!
Aw Jo, sorry to hear you're going through a rough time right now. I agree with a previous comment, Christmas can be hard on relationships. Take care of yourself, and please know that my thoughts are with you.
Hi Jo,
I ended an serious, 7 year relationship in the week between Christmas and New Years almost 10 years ago now. It was the most painful (but best) thing I ever did. My only advice is to ride each emotion like a wave, till it washes on the shore and peters out. It hurst like hell when the wave is at its peak, but by being present through the process, you will know yourself so much better, you will realize that you have the strenght to get through anything and that pent up, going to blow feeling, will start to disappate without you hurting the ones you love. Mantras help, mine was "surrender to the flow." Hope you can find one that works for you!
Good luck.
Amy
Oh, those ups and downs bite. I don't really have anything useful to say to help you get through, but I'm reading you. I'm thinking good thoughts for you.
Jo-
I'm thinking fabulous thoughts for you and my needles are crossed that great things will happen for you in 2004. Love yourself, love your kids, and be assured that Higher Power will prevail in all things. Meanwhile, you can always email me if you need a shoulder to cry on. Thinking of you
Meg
I know nothing I can say will help much, but know that you are thought of, loved, and prayed for. Love to you and *hugs*.
Sometimes life really sucks and what you really need is someone to talk to. Talking helps to clarify your thoughts and sometimes you can work through to what you should do. The person listening doesn't have to offer advice, just listen and maybe ask questions to help you see what you are feeling. Putting it into words helps a lot. Do you have access to counseling in Canada? At least this might help you to feel less like exploding, because the person closest to you often gets the blast, not what is really bothering you. You and your S.E. (spousal equivalent) need to talk about what is bothering you both, not stew about it separately. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you. Your kids need both of you with them if that is at all possible. Keep your chin up and know that things work out for the best in the long run, even if the short run is painful. (Remember, advice is worth what you paid for it; this is just something to think about and consider, not an order :^).) Good luck!
I don't have any helpful advice; I'm too young to have any words of wisdom :D You are in my thoughts and prayers though, and I hope things get better for you soon.
Amanda
(((hugs))) Times are tough here also, and this certainly means our relationship is being tested to the extreme. Hang in there hon. xoxoxoxo