WOW! It's been a while and I just don't know what to type. I haven't written before 'cause I had writer's block! LOL! I had so much to say I didn't know how to write it, it's weird but it's true.
Last I wrote we were about to leave home to go eat lunch at our neighbours house across the street. That was on Christmas eve, the lunch went well. Marcelle has alzheimer's pretty bad and also parkinson, she used to be a 2nd language english teacher in high school. As soon as she retired alzheimer's started. :( It's really hard to see such a strong woman slip away like this. She worked hard her whole life to benefit from her retirement, she was planning trips all over the world and just plain enjoy life. Now she goes to an elder's center twice a week and a nurse comes to give her a bath two times a week. On the 24th, you could see at what extent this disease's has hit her. For one in a the last 3 years she's gain over 150lb. She more than doubled the weight she so hardly maintained all her life, she used to be very careful at what she ate and would drink skim milk. Now she's addicted to Pepsi and fries, her dh doesn't cook much so they eat alot of fast food. She is now on a waiting list to be placed in an elder's home,her dh just can't take care of her anymore.
Back to our lunch! ;) We had the surprise to see that the parents of my friend's boyfriend arrived. They are very nice people and they brought gifts for our kids. What a thoughtful gesture! I was totally shocked to see this, she had even baked them cookies, what a nice woman! :) We ate lunch, well THEY ate lunch and I ran around the house after the kids who didn't feel like sitting down to eat. As everyone was full after lunch, my stomach was growling, when we got back home I had to make myself lunch! :( The kids got to open gifts after everyone was done eating. Zoe received from her Godmother a Peter Pan tape and stickers to color that she can stick on the walls of her room, they are Winnie the Pooh stickers! Just the theme we are planning to make Zoe's room with! LOL! What a coincidence! :) Lucas received a book, the main caracter from it is named Lucas, how neat! It came with a CD and it has music on it too. From the "in-laws" they received a "fake" Barbie doll with her kid sister and a red Tonka 4X4 motorcross. Man, Lucas was allover the dolls! LOL! We all joked that next year they would switch the gifts on the kids! ;) Lucas is my little "precious" boy, he loves to slather lotion on his belly, loves to wear play jewelry and where grandma's heels! LOL! NO, I am not worried about him when he grews up! In fact if he ever is gay, I don't give a hoot apart from me wanting him to be happy. I can't say that I'd willingly by him a dress if he asked though! ROFL! My mom received a big fruitcake and some fancy jams. Our neighbor gave my mom, dh, both kid and I, twenty dollars each so that came up to 100$. Once we left the lunch party my mom stayed to help with the dishes and then both kids went down for their nap. When my mom got home we took 40$ from our gift money and used that on buying groceries. For Christmas eve's supper we had Coquille St-Jacques which is basically: Scallops and shrimps with Mushrooms in Cream Sauce, the kids had seafood lasagna. By midnight my mom surprised dh and I with a little gift. :) I received 20$ with bus/subway tickets and had to promise that I'd spend all the money on magazines for me, I'll need to hand her the receipt for proof too! LOL! My mom is the sweetest 'quirky-ist' person I know. She simply wants to make sure I treat myself to something I don't usually buy. Magazines can be so expensive to buy but now I get to splurge and buy a few just for my pleasure to read! :) Off to sleep we go.
Then next morning right on Christmas morning I get up really fast to bake some cinnamon buns, oh thank heaven's for Pillsbury! ;) As they baked the smell filled the whole house, it was making us pretty eager to get to eat them buns too! LOL! Well Zoe asks if she can open the gift next to the plate where Santa ate his cookie and milk. He left her an activity book with stickers. This is the only gift Santa will have left her BUT he did bring other gifts that mom, dad and grandma had sent him to wrap up though! ;) Our story to her was that we bought gifts and sent them to Santa to have him wrap them and he'd bring them back on Christmas day if they slept well. LOL! The most appreciated gifts the kids got this year are wood blocks They've been building and crashing their creations since they open the gifts, each got a set of 40 pieces. I paid 5$ for each set and they came in the cutest backpacks too. I was really eager to get my mom to open the gift I bought her since I didn't have many things to give her I wanted to wait in the afternoon but then I was soooooo excited to give it to her! LOL! I gave her a zen-inspired gift box with 3 soaps in it from Bella Pella each soap has a chinese sign on it and they smell great. That wasn't THE gift I was waiting to give her though. ;)
I offered her a new Kodak Adventix F350 camera!!! :) With the easy loading film in it, my mom's older camera that we gave her last year is destroyed! LOL! The kids had a bit too much fun with it! ;) This time I bought a cheaper camera, well it was on sale with 20$ off so it's a great value but for a cheap budget! She will have ot pay more to get the film processed but I think it'll be worth it. I can't always be there to put the film in the cam! ;) Of course I need to first read the instruction book and then show her what the camera does! LOL! I'm the instruction book reading of the family, I'm also the warranty card filler and sender. ;) Needless to say she was happy as can be about her gift. I had to reassure her that I did not break the bank to give it too her and the gift giving wasn't finished as I got her 3 Advantix film too. Then as the final gift she received Lindt chocolate that is 85% pure. She was is heaven, I mean chocolate, who wouldn't be? LOL! Dh had given her a basket filled with nuts and munchies and also two magazines, she was happily surprised by it! I'm glad, good thing I was there to suggest what to put in the basket! LOL!
I did received a 20$ gift to spend on myself on whatever I want to spend it on but it needs to be for me, myself or I and no one else! My mom's pretty stubborn, so I better respect her wishes! ;) Dh on the other hand had nothing to offer me.... of course he didn't, he doesn't have any moeny.... SIGH! Now no one remembers this but 6 months ago I posted about my birthday and once again dh had gotten me NOTHING! Of course when it is HIS bday you better be giving him something or he'll be in a sucky mood all day. I had bought him, back in july, a handhelp electronic chess game. He loves to play and I don't so now he gets to play! My mom gave him a few gifts also so he can't say we didn't think about him. She even gave him a 10$ card that added minutes in his cell phone.
With the money we had all received the day before we ordered supper to make it a special Christmas meal. Well the chicken place as closed so we ordered chinese! Best chinese meal we had in such a looooong time! It made our meal great, we had cheesecake for dessert. Thankfully dh was willing to share it with us since it was really a gift from me to him.
Boxing day was pretty relaxed, my mom and I did go shopping but we didn't buy anything. Being that we are both pretty broke, we just walked and walked and walked a tad more! ;) We did need to buy food though. Dh's paycheck was never deposited in his account as we were expecting it to be done on the 26th. So now we have a whopping 40$ to last us for the next 2 weeks in food. Bills will have to wait once again. UGH! That made me pretty depressed, I can't believe this is happening again. I am so tired of this life of being broke all the freakin' time! All my life my mom had to be careful with money and then ever since we had the kids we've been more than broke and it's always because of dh's spending and of course, I never got to benefit from it! UGH!
For the last 2 days I've been pissed off about my life and choices. I am blessed to have both kids, they are really the sweetest! Zoe knows that we can't always buy for her at stores and she'll say that's ok, maybe next time! ACK! I already know that next time I'll have to tell her no too. :( I'm tired of having to pass up on things I'd like just for his sake. He wants spending money from each paycheck he gets and I don't even get that pleasure. I can't take money and just do what I want with it. We were supposed to have cleared off the Visa bill by the end of the year but NOOOOOOO! it's still over the maximum. Becuase he decided he could spend on the card while he had left us back in October. I still resent him for so many things, I should be happy he is back home but it's really hard. Ok so the sex part has been nice! LOL! But other from that!? I feel like our relationship is like addiction, we are both addicted to having each other there but we aren't working together in building something stronger.
I've been taking of starting that class I wanted to take while dh was gone. It's a course that is 18months and then I'd be trained for a job in a drugstore, it has to do with helping the pharmacist in filling prescriptions and stuff. It's a night class though, I'm not sure I could keep myself motivated for so long taking a class that finishes way past the kids bed time. It could be fun though, I'm just afraid I'd drop out and I wouldn't want that but that's who I am. I start something and then drop out at the 1st signs of difficulty. :( I also thought that taking a knitting class could be fun, motivating me to start bigger project too and just being around other knitters. Well now dh wants to take guitar lessons, sure enough I was the one who cleared the bill for his guitar 6 months ago when I first started taking care of finances. He played maybe 2-3 times ever since and now he wants to take a class? UGH! You can't afford it boy! I hate how I just said I wanted to take a class for myself and then he wants to take up something too! I haven't had the time, energy, money to take up something in the 5 years we've been together and the second I feel motivated enough to look up classes he wants to do the same. I feel like I'm always competing with him. I don't get to leave the house 10 hours a day, I don't get phone calls from friends just to say hey! I don't have anyone I feel like calling just to go out to the fabric/yarn/2nd hand stores with. Funny how I know someone who likes all those things though! She's my mom's friend and she's great but I'd feel funny calling someone who is 20 years older than me just to go shopping! LOL! and then I'd have to leave my mom at home with the kids! I feel I'd be stealing her friend from her.
Ok on one brighter note!!! I finished the soaker I was knitting for Lucas, of course it doesn't fit! LOL! I expected it to not fit but hey, I can hope. So for now I won't make another soaker until I can find a toddler pattern and they seem to be hard to come by on the internet. I've found at the most 5 patterns for soakers. I am knitting him a diaper liner now though and that should fit! LOL! ;) It's a very easy garter stitch project, you simply cast on 30st and then knit until you have 15inches or the length of a liner you want. I'm going to make it 15" at least so that I can fold it up front and make it even more absorbant. The liner will be thinner than the infant prefolds we've been using as a doubler.
Last piece of news, I've activated the notes on my diary, so you can now leave me little notes instead of signing my guestbook. I will be keeping this diary open after all, if I do put a diary on my website it will be a kniting only blog so that it can be included in a knitting bloggers ring I like. I haven't had the time or the inspiration to work on my website so it's very boring. One day I'll have an idea and know where to build it! LOL!
hugs to all, happy holiday and knit on! ;)
Posted by Jo at January 28, 2003 06:19 PM